The Womb With a View / From My Book
Why Mary’s skin had no pigment in it, was never known, but it
offered to the medical professional the chance to observe firsthand
the miraculous workings of the human body; things that could only
be figured-out through autopsies and the examination
of dead bodies. Some biological activities can be discovered
during operations, but only for limited time-periods, and never for
a long enough time to suit those interested in truly understanding
how a human body works.
Mary’s skin was as clear as glass; just like those of glass fish you
see occasionally in aquariums. Fortunately, for Mary, only parts of
her body were that way; parts that she could cover conveniently
with clothing. Her face, arms, hands, legs, and feet were of
normal coloring. It was primarily her torso that was clear enough
to reveal all that went-on inside.
Despite her obvious peculiarity, she had been able to lead
a somewhat normal life, due mainly to her parents most
conscientiously guarding her privacy, all her life. Other than her
parents, only her family physician had the chance to see Mary
in person and up close. Over the years he had been allowed to
take pictures, and even videos, of Mary’s insides, but he always
managed to conceal both his and Mary’s true identity, whenever
he made his findings public.
Mary’s social life was quite limited by her condition. All through
high school she had to be excused from any physical education
classes because she was not allowed to use a public shower,
where others might see, but not understand, her body. And
when summer came she had to be especially careful that the
sun did not penetrate into her body through her clear skin.
Internal organs were not made to withstand the heat, or the solar
radiation. Without the protection of normal layers of skin, Mary
would die due to overheating, or damage from the sun.
One summer though, Mary did meet someone; someone who
understood her problem and who would not reveal it to anyone
else. His name was Joe, Mary’s doctor’s son. He had been going
away to school for the last seven years and had occasionally
come in contact with Mary at his father’s office. They never really
had the time to get to know each other very well, due to Joe’s
schooling and Mary’s desire for privacy, but every time their eyes
met they never immediately looked away.
This summer Joe was going to be an intern with his father. Joe
had, through the years, picked up a lot of his father’s beliefs
about the practice of medicine; That everyone, regardless of
their age, race, or income level, had the right to be treated with
respect and dignity, when it came to their medical problems.
Insurance, or lack of it, had no bearing on how well someone was
treated. If enough money came in each month, so that the bills
could be paid on time, and there was enough money left over
to live on, then that was all that was important. As long as the
office could remain open to serve the needs of the community,
then Joe’s father felt he was a success.
Joe never assumed for an instant, any time in his young life,
that his dad was anything, but a success. A lot of Joe’s friends in
medical school felt differently about that though, and whenever
Joe happened to mention his dad and his practice to them, they
were sure to let him know.
After awhile Joe realized that they weren’t really his friends,
after all; and they stopped associating with him after too many
differences of opinion about why they were going to become
doctors. Joe wanted to help people, while they wanted to make a
lot of money and become rich and famous, or at least rich.
Joe really needed a friend the summer he was to help his dad.
He needed someone besides his dad to talk to about his feelings
because most of his feelings revolved around his dad. Joe thought
he had his priorities straight, but he just needed someone to
listen to him think out loud.
The first day of work, Joe met Mary again. And again, when their
eyes met, they remained fixed on each other for the longest time.
“Joe! Joe! Wake up!” his dad said.
“What?” Joe replied.
“Joe, I want to introduce you to my favorite patient, Mary
Singleton,” Joe’s dad replied.
“Glad to meet you Mary,” Joe responded.
“Nice to meet you, too,” Mary meekly answered. And with
that simple exchange began the start of the most meaningful
relationship either Joe or Mary had ever known.
Mary and Joe spent every free moment together. There weren’t
many of them, but what time they had together was the best
either of them ever had with anyone.
For her whole life, Mary never once was able to feel totally normal.
Every night before bed, when she looked into her full-length mirror,
she was both disgusted and amazed with her body. No one else
had one like it—it was certain, but Mary never could understand
why God would do something like this to someone like her.
Mary had many sleepless nights suffering from indigestion, due
to her feelings, but she always tried to make the best of every
situation—even the uncomfortable ones. There aren’t, after all,
too many people who can see their stomach growl.
If Mary couldn’t thank God for her body, she most surely could
thank Him for Joe. Joe made her feel normal, and in doing so, he
accomplished more than Mary ever thought possible. Joe knew
all about her body. He understood her need for privacy. And most
of all, he cared a lot about her and that caring slowly, but surely,
turned to love; and that is where this story really begins…
Mary and Joe dated every chance they got. Being an intern,
however, did not allow Joe many free moments, but those he did
have, were spent with Mary.
One of those moments, however, changed her life, and Joe’s life,
forever, but fortunately she recorded many of the personal details
in her personal diary, and now, I have her permission to share
those memories with you…
Day 28 (After conception—We only did it once!):
I should have seen it coming. Somehow, that line sounds funny,
but it really isn’t. I’m afraid I am pregnant. I know my body all too-
well to not know when something is wrong, and something is
definitely wrong now. No period for two months and I feel better
than I ever have before. I know I should go to see Dr. Fine, but
I really want to wait and see, and when I say see, I really do
I must have stood in front of my mirror today for more than
an hour. My Mom knocked on the door and about scared me to
death. I haven’t told her or my dad, yet, but I really want to tell
Joe first—even before Dr. Fine. So much to think about and so
much to do, but I have to start somewhere, and Joe is the best
place I know.
I saw Joe last night, and when I told him I thought I was pregnant,
he slowly smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen him smile; he
then laughed and grabbed me with both arms firmly around my
waist, swung me around once, quickly; but then slowed down,
until it felt like we were dancing. Tears filled my eyes, and his,
too, and I just knew everything was going to be all right; even
before he said those very words. Joe said I should go see his dad,
just to be sure; and then said that he would go with me to tell
my parents. My parents loved Joe, but this was before this had
happened, and I really did not know what they would say or do,
but I knew I did not want to do it alone.
I saw Dr. Fine today, and, yes, he did say everything was fine, and
would be fine…and, oh, yes, that I was indeed about one month
pregnant. It was a little embarrassing when he asked when I
thought I might have become pregnant, and my mind wandered
immediately back to the night at his apartment, with Joe nearly
falling asleep after working 14 hours, but still cuddling me so
close, until we were beyond close, and we just stayed that way
until both Joe and morning came. Dr. Fine noticed the far-a-way
look in my eyes, and knew the pregnancy was the result of love,
and, yes, he knew, without me telling him, that his son, Joe, was
the father, and that, yes, everything would be fine.
I love my parents! I told them last night about me being
pregnant and they really weren’t that surprised, nor shocked.
Even though they do not believe in sex before marriage, they do
know how difficult it is to disassociate sex from love, and they
feel, as I do, that all life is precious, and that definitely includes
my baby’s life. Baby…first time I have used that word. It sounds
so right. Embryo and fetus just do not do life justice these
days. And now that I think about it, justice does not do babies
justice either. I could never abort this baby, and my parents
never even thought about asking if I was going to keep it. It…so
impersonal, and so inappropriate. Baby…my baby’s temporary
name will be Baby. I just looked down and introduced myself to
Baby. She/he cannot hear me yet, but I know that Baby feels
safe and warm, and I will have it no other way…not today, and
Joe was there, and he did look very uncomfortable, but my
parents told both of us that everything in life happens for a
reason, and if we believe in God, as we all do, then things workout.
My parents did not ask if we were going to get married, and
they did not ask if we planned to put Baby up for adoption. I do
think that they knew, as Joe and I did, as we looked into each
other’s eyes, that yes, we would eventually get married; and yes,
we would keep Baby; and yes, everything would be fine.
Not sleeping much lately; So many things to think about. For one,
Dr. Fine wants to continue to videotape my insides, but this time
he wants to concentrate on my Baby. I want him to do this, too.
Actually, before I went in to see him this morning, I knew that
this is what I wanted. I must have been born the way I was for
a reason more important than that of being just a window into
a person’s insides. I want the world to see that an embryo is a
baby; a fetus is a baby; a baby is a precious life; and that all life
is precious in not only God’s eyes, but mine, too; and hopefully…
eventually, everyone’s eyes.
Another thing occupying my thoughts is Joe. He feels guilty about
what has happened. I know he is happy, but I also know he knows
I had other plans for my life besides being pregnant and taking
care of a baby. Two years of community college were just to be
the start of going to a 4-year college, and getting a degree in
nursing, with the goal of being in charge of a maternity ward,
of all things. Joe is 25 and I am 20, and the birth of our baby is
only 8 months away. At least he is done with his education. Mine
is only just beginning.
Before going to the Dr. Fine’s office today, for my first official
videotaping of my Baby, I remembered I had once written a poem
about this very subject. It was so long ago that I had forgotten
about it, until this morning.
About three years ago I had written a pro-life poem and posted
it on the Internet. I have always been pro-life, and it just got to
me that no one was really seeing things from a baby’s point-of view.
I mean, everyone here on earth was given the opportunity
to live, and yet they feel it is okay to deny that right to others;
even their own baby.
I have always been shy and turned-off by all of the politics
surrounding the issue, so I never really got involved in the whole
pro-choice/pro-life debate, until I saw pictures of aborted babies
on display at my college. God, how could someone/anyone do this
to another human being! Not knowing what else to do to try and
make my feelings known, and to, hopefully, make a difference
in at least one person’s life, I sat down and wrote this poem,
not knowing at the time that I was writing about something that
would eventually come true:
If You Could Just See Me
If you could just see me
You’d witness a miracle
That some try to hide;
You’d see for yourself
That I’m made just like you;
God’s method is tried;
God’s method is true.
Who I will become has been set;
There’s naught you can do
To change who you will get;
Unless, you of course,
Decide to stop my growth;
But only Mom can decide, not Dad—
It doesn’t take both.
I have just one chance to live—
I won’t come again;
Till maybe in heaven we meet—
Only God can say when;
So please let me be born—
There is so much to do;
God creates life for All—
Not just me and you.
Life is a miracle.
Dr. Fine is going to post the videos he is making of my Baby
and my pregnancy, on the Internet. He somehow is going to
keep the source of the videos, and both his and my names a
secret. I really hope so. I cannot imagine the unwanted publicity
and attention my family, Joe, Baby, and I would receive if our
identities became known. I am sure there will be some who will
think this whole thing is a hoax, and just some special-effects
movie, but that is out of my hands, and I am leaving it in God’s
hands from now on. I did, however, give Dr. Fine a name for the
website: THEWOMBWITHAVIEW. He liked it.
I have written something for each day in my diary, but Baby
is so small, you can hardly see him/her, yet. The website is up
and running, and it has had thousands of hits a day. Most seem
to just go to it out of curiosity, but some have left messages
for us and others to see. Sure are some weird, hateful people
in the world. I have stopped reading them. Most of the hurtful
ones say this site is fake, or that I am committing a sin by
doing it, or that I should be in a freak show at the circus. The
positive ones said that it was about time someone actually saw
what was involved in the creation of life, and that it was great
that everyone finally could see what we each put our mothers
I have mainly just been recording my own physical and emotional
feelings. I have, up to this time, been able to keep my pregnancy
secret from everyone in the community; even my closest friends,
but today someone finally guessed I was pregnant. Becky, a
friend I have had since pre-school, came over to my house today
and noticed I was getting a little chubby. I knew she could keep
a secret (she never did tell anyone about the time I peed my
pants at school in 2nd grade. She just splashed water on me
at the drinking fountain, so that everyone would think that was
why my pants were wet.), so I told her I was pregnant, and that
Joe was the father. She wasn’t that surprised, either. She said
she thought something was up, since she saw me coming out of
Dr. Fine’s office quite a few times in the past month, and I did
not work there, and I did not look sick. She did say she thought
I might be visiting Joe, but sometimes his car was not in the
parking lot, so she knew that could not be the reason I was there.
Some detective that Becky is!
Baby is about an inch long now and his/her heart is beating so
fast. By holding another mirror up to my full-length mirror I can
see Baby quite well. Toes, fingers, arms, and legs are all forming.
Who in their right mind would want to abort someone like this! I
guess it really is true that there really is none so blind as those
who will not see. People who choose not to see the truth, seem to
make up their own “truths” to accommodate their special wants
and desires. I really pray that all I am putting Baby and myself
through is worth the effort.
Dr. Fine has been great and has told me I can quit this project
whenever I want. I do sometimes wish I were normal, but in reality,
I am. The only way I am different is that I can see what other
people couldn’t up till now. I just feel I was born for this reason;
for this purpose; for this task. I told him I would let him know, but
I also told him not to expect I would, and therefore, to stock-up
on all the necessary digital equipment, including batteries. I
would hate him, and others, to miss anything of importance,
although every second somehow feels to be important to me.
Baby’s growing and so am I. I am happy, but I cry a lot. Thank
God for Guernsey’s ice cream.
The website hits are up to 10,000 a day! I have seen articles in
the news and tabloid headlines offering rewards for the identity
of the womb-owner. It makes me nervous, but I trust everyone
Baby is about 3 inches long now, but I still can’t tell if Baby is a
boy or girl. Joe wants a healthy baby, and I want one, too. That is
all that matters to us, and that is all that should matter to anyone.
The whole town now knows about my pregnancy. Not much I can
do to hide that fact. For the sake of secrecy, I have lied about how
far along I am, just to make it harder to have someone tie my
pregnancy and that of the one on my website, together. Once I
find out the gender of Baby, I will probably lie about it, or maybe
just say I did not want Dr. Fine to tell me. Living in a small town
has its advantages, but then again, everyone knows everything
as soon as everyone else does. I do get the occasional stares, but
more often than not I get words of encouragement, and questions
about when the wedding will be. The wedding…Joe hasn’t asked
me to marry him yet. I know he has been busy at the clinic, and
that this whole website thing is sort of freaking him out, despite
the fact that he is a doctor, but I am at the point where I, too,
am freaking out, and it is not so much about the pregnancy, as
it is about Joe’s silence.
Well, I know the sex of Baby, but like I said, I am not telling—even
my diary. Dr. Fine has promised not to tell either, but otherwise,
the whole world knows, or at least they can if they visit the
website. Joe has been present for many of the video tapings of
Baby and his/her development (thought I would give it away,
huh.), so he, too, knows the sex of Baby. My mom and dad do
not know. They want to be surprised.
The hits on the website are up to 50,000 a day! Other websites
have arisen to take advantage of Baby’s popularity. Some are
taking bets about the birth date, while others are trying to track
down the source of the videos. Some pro-choice sites have
popped-up saying it is still not too late to have an abortion, and
that this one pregnancy should in no way undo all the good that
has been done for women since the Roe vs. Wade decision. Seems
like no one ever mentions that probably one-half of the aborted
babies were females. And what is wrong with males, anyway,
that they, too, deserve to be aborted. Hormones definitely acting
That placenta if definitely something I have not seen up close
before. What a neat thing! Baby is about 5 inches long and is
sucking and swallowing. What a cutie!
Joe just called from work and wants to meet me here, at my
this is THE DAY he asks me to marry him? I will get back to you
once I know…
Well, I am engaged. Joe was great. He apologized for waiting so
long, but he said he just wanted to make sure I was sure about
what I was doing with the whole Internet thing, and that he had
wanted to marry me ever since the day he first saw me. That
must have been when I was about 1year old, and I was in his
father’s office. I know I do not remember, but he said he does.
We have decided to not get married until after the birth of Baby
because we have not had sex since that one time, and being
married would make it too hard (at least for him) to not want
to have sex with me, and perhaps change the whole pregnancy
experience. No real source for advice in this situation, but then
again, first time for everything, but that second time is definitely
something I am looking forward to.
I have gained so much weight it is ridiculous. Baby must be very
happy in his/her wet, warm home. The website is among the
most popular on the whole Internet, and the pressure to keep it
a secret is enormous. Like being pregnant for the first time is not
pressure enough. I have just now started to think about giving
birth to Baby. Think I’ll go throw up. Yep, I did. At least I lost some
of that weight, but it will be back in a minute. Baby is about 10
inches long now! He/she also is starting to look like Joe. Be too
bad if Baby was a girl. Kidding. I really do have a sense of humor
about this whole thing. Without it I would crack up. As it is, I am
laughing most of the time, except when I am crying or eating.
I felt Baby kick today. Must want out, but I am not going to let
him/her. Being only one pound is no way to start life outside of
the womb! I went to see Joe immediately, and he felt it, too.
Somehow, seeing Baby, and having him/her touch you are two
different things, but both are so neat, we just cannot control our
feelings, and both of us cry and laugh a lot. We really have to
watch what we say. It is almost impossible now to contain our joy
and feelings about see our Baby grow. We want to tell the world,
and not just show the world, what a baby means to parents who
want a baby, and what it should mean to everyone.
We could make a ton of money off of this whole experience, but
no one will ever know the identity of anyone involved, if I can
help it. God must be watching over all of us, and He does know
how much we can handle. Same old crazy comments, message
boards and websites showing up. I don’t read, or go to any of
them because I am stressed enough, and I still need to plan our
wedding. I am sure my Mom will be glad to help. She has been
very supportive of me during this whole time, and neither she,
nor my Dad has Internet access, anyway, so it is easy for them
to keep away from all the potential distractions. They know I
am doing what I feel I was born, and meant to do, and they are
there for me.
I am gaining so much weight! It’s amazing Dr. Fine can still see
through me well enough to get clear pictures. He is amazing, too.
Good thing, he, too, is a Christian, and a moral, honest person.
Joe takes after him, in more ways than one. Joe’s mom is not that
aware of everything that is going on. It is not that she cannot be
trusted, as much as it is that she does not want to know for fear
of telling someone by accident.
Baby opened his/her eyes today and looked right at me. I swear
he/she winked at me. I am sure it was water in his/her eyes. The
first time in history that an unborn baby has seen his Mother! I
am sure the reactions to this event on the Internet will be both
wondrous, and disturbing, depending on if any of the viewers had
ever had an abortion. I feel so sorry for them, but what could I
do, besides hide the truth, which is something I just cannot do.
At least with ultrasounds, the parents know the baby cannot see
them, and that, I am sure, is somewhat comforting.
Life for me, and anyone else who will be watching on the Internet,
will never be the same, and you do not know how happy that
makes me feel, but I am sure it will take quite awhile for all of this
to sink in, especially for those whose minds and hearts have been
hardened by all of the untruths, misrepresentations, and filtered/
censored facts through the past three decades. I am getting a
headache. I want this to be over.
I did pull the plug—on the website. I just could not take it anymore,
and ever since I saw Baby look at me, I just needed the bond that
was being formed to be between Baby and me, and Baby and Joe,
and no one else, I figured that everyone else would understand,
and that they had seen enough to determine that an embryo, a
fetus, an unborn baby, is a baby—a human being just like them;
created just like them; with rights to Life, Liberty, and their own
Pursuit of Happiness. Time will tell, but I just want to get on with
a normal life, with Joe, and with my soon-to-be- born little Baby.
Well, I kept getting bigger and bigger, and so did Baby. The
Internet kept running re-runs of the whole first 170 days on
numerous websites, with our permission. Joe and I made plans
for marriage the week after Baby was born. Everyone settled
into a comfortable, private, life, and just let the pregnancy run
Baby was born today at 3:17 A.M. (I wasn’t sleeping, anyway). We
gave Baby a new name. It was Iris. I know that probably sounds
like the most unusual name in the world, but after looking her in
the eyes for nearly the past 100 days, there was no other name
that felt right.
Well, I have to go and get some rest because Joe really is looking
forward to our marriage.
I had started this poem over 20 years ago, prior to all these new ultra-sound advancements, which make this story, perhaps, less necessary, in a way, or so I hope. I finished it ten years ago for a short story contest. It could only be so many words, so that is why it is the length it is. It could easily be longer, and there could be so much more added, but I think I have written enough to get the idea, which I wanted, across—that a fetus is a baby worthy, and deserving of its own life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.
It is now included in my first book: Something of Value. Poetic Thoughts of an Average Christian Guy (And Five Short Stories).
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