When that was all that mattered
Loving you.
I remember when that was all that mattered.
All we had were a few rusty cans.
Beans and white bread.
Milk.
And your guitar.
The mattress on the floor
stank like God knows what.
We’d cycle to the cliffs.
“Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could stay like this forever?”
you said.
“Wouldn’t it be lovely if time just stopped?”
Time stopped.
It stopped for you.
Just for you.
Lying there
in hospital,
serene.
For me
it continued.
Sometimes,
I wonder
if it would be better not to love.
Love rots away the heart
it eats the soul
until you’re nothing
without him.
You’re not…
whole.
I replay the moments
I spent with you.
Often I’d wish
they’d die, just fade away
that I’d never taken
the chance of loving you.
For the risk was too great.
To loose you.
Loosing you.
But even now,
even with what I know today.
I would have
loved you
anyway.
I would have
loved you
over and over.
Just how I did.
And still do.
By Beckie
© 2008 Beckie
(All rights reserved)
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