Life's Not Like T.V
Life is not like t.v, not in any way.
We are sister,both coming from
Different sides of a dysfunctional family
Personalities and emotional abilities
So very different, we are like night and day
Yet we often clung together,in our own way
We were single mothers raising two children each
The trials beyond compare,not instantly solvable like t.v
One of us struggling by in her own way
Like a fish out of water or someone
Trying to live on the edge and test
Her life by pushing all boundaries as she saw fit
That wasn't true. her struggle for her identity
Was all encompassing , the pain and depressions
Under the surface uncontrollable poor me syndrome
Often winning the fight , she never understood how to overcome
Our parents alcoholic nature a struggle
She often lost after the 3rd drink
Where I could never handful the stuff. yet craved
The false bravado it gave me, and lack of intimidation
Then having to suffer with my conscience ever afterwards.
I tried so hard , and worked and made mistakes
Plenty over the years. The same type of predators
I always seemed to attract,often to my children's horror
How we survived I don't know
Some days i truly do not feel like a survivor
Just like a lost soul floating through life
We do not treat people like they do on t.v,doing anything for sex
Thats some sick sex offenders fantasy
Life isn't like that, we just tried to find
Our soul mate and someone who loved us
The way we loved them
Often not dating for months or years
Afraid to talk to a male and terrified
To let anyone close to our children
Mainly because we knew our insecurities
Could not protect us from
Those predators out there
Yet we managed to instill good morals
And beliefs in our children
We worked hard to build their self esteem
How do you find your self respect
It is there and when you have it it shows.
In many different ways
Spending 4 hours a day teaching
Our children schoolwork,that
The system was unable to help them with
Struggling day in day out
To help and counsel ourselves and our children
You can't give your children self esteem unless
You have and understand it yourself
God that was a heartbreaking lesson
Yet the odd time we found
Our inherent friendship
As sisters and family
Carried us through
With laughter and love
And incidents that defined us.
Her starting to fight back
Her generous heart outdoing others
My accepting the decision
To put my son on medicine
I had to decide on my own
The sentence ' I must go home and talk this out with..'
Left hanging in the reality
There is no one else but me
Being in a bar full of bikers
With a so called friend
Who asked one of them to get us dates
I cringed in shame and pity,not empathy pity
When his answer hung in my ears
I can find you a date he told her
But not her, She makes her own decisions
As I guided her home that friendship ended
She moved home and never did get counselling
I often feared for her life but know she has done OK
My sister and I new a wide variety of people
From all walks of life
Yet the ones who showed us the most respect
Were the bikers we knew ,for they returned
The respect we showed them
Knowing them at work and as neighbours
It is amazing we never had any problems
Like working in a store where all the street people hung out
The kids promising and I fear
they may yet someday give me
The leopard skin pimp hat
To show me how embarrassing
They as teenagers found it when
Wherever we went in the city
The prostitutes and pimps new me by name
Only because I worked in the place they hung out
That was and is as bad as
The thought of going on a date
And unbidden their words echoing
Its thirty dollars for that
Yes bursting into laughter
Mid kiss is not conducive
To passion or a second date
I know that idea only makes the laughter last longer........................
By imms_place
© 2008 imms_place
(All rights reserved)
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